Another OPA board meeting, another rant from pickleballers on the Racquet Sports Committee. Are OPA pickleballers ever satisfied? Then again, OPA board politics are so boring these days - any port in a storm for commentators.

Some readers are probably asking themselves, "What the heck is a pickleballer?"

A pickleballer is someone playing something akin to ping-pong on a tiny tennis court. Writing in the Tucsonlocalmedia in Arizona, columnist Tom Danehy wrote, "Even the name is stupid. The only thing it has to do with pickles is that dill pickles have no calories while playing pickleball expends no calories."

He then sarcastically suggests how an older pickleballer might describe their athletic activity after the exuberance of youth: "Then I took 20 years off and got really lazy and out of shape. Now I’m a pickleballer! Or, I’ve never played a sport in my life. I’ve always had terrible footwork and zero hand-eye coordination. But now I’m a pickleballer!"

To be fair, Danehy concedes the benefit of any exercise.

Talk to any pickleballer for more than 60 seconds and if you do not hear the phrase "Pickleball - the fastest growing sport in America," Groucho Marx's mangy stuffed duck Julius will be hovering over their head as a reminder.

A popular website called "reddit" has a section called "NoStupidQuestions." One question found there is "Is Pickleball really a cult."

Anyway, all sarcasm aside, we return to the more serious issue of pickleballer complaints at the March 23, 2024 meeting of the Ocean Pines Board of Directors.

When OPA president Rick Farr opened the floor for public comments, pickleballer and Racquet Sports Committee member Suzanne Russell headed for the podium, pre-typed pickleballer gripes issue #257 novella in hand. She read the text for over five minutes, the limit for public comments. No problem. Russell passed the novella to racquet sports member Karen Kaplan who came to the podium and completed reading the text. Those in the crowded room listened intently. There were a few teary eyes and at least one audience-member thumbs-up came from Elections Committee member Tom Schwartz as the presentation concluded.

The pickleballers are upset that OPA plans to renovate the old pro shop at the Racquet Sports Center as opposed to building something new and much larger. They want space to serve food for breakfast or during events, as well as showers and locker rooms for visiting players.

OPA plans a major renovation of the existing facility with a projected estimated cost of around $200,000. Russell claimed OPA was planning to do the renovation during the peak summer months. Not the case. Any renovation would take place after the 2024 summer season. OPA has no final plans at this point and has not applied for a County permit.

Any new and larger structure to meet what the pickleballers demand could exceed $1 million and require a referendum. Word is someone at a committee meeting said, "No problem. A referendum would pass easily."

Russell said Racquet Center members did research at the County, checking with the County regarding permits and other issues. She said mold in the building was making employees sick and "... in some cases contributing to them quitting." No proof was provided for these serious public accusations by an OPA committee member.

Asked about her public comments, Director Stuart Lakernick said, "It is very concerning to have heard her statement that folks are getting sick from the building and an employee quit because of this. I can assure you we are looking into this immediately."

OPA president Rick Farr said it was "inappropriate for committee members to go the County and check on permits."

Fresh off their victory in convincing the Board of Directors to keep pickleball amenity rates low by changing a previously approved budget for fiscal 2024-2025, the pickleballers are perhaps seeking to produce another "backlash" in an attempt to embarrass the board into meeting their demands.